Outline

You said you would be here but you weren’t
I keep looking for you

Knowing you aren’t here

Sometimes I close my eyes

To try and hear your words again

Sometimes I hear them

Mostly, I hear nothing

I hear myself breathing

I get so annoyed at hearing my own breathe

Because it’s not you

You said you would still be here but you aren’t

An outline of you is here

I look at it everyday

I take it with me to work

I carry it

But it’s not you

It bears your weight

But you’re still not there

I mostly feel stupid for holding on

Clinging to something that isn’t you

But I can’t let go

I’m still waiting for you to come back

I know

I know with every fiber of my being that you’re not coming back

Every time I come to that realization again

I look down to what I am holding on to

And that outline that looks like you

Isn’t actually you at all

And I’ve lost you all over again

My heart dies all over again

I swear I can see you

I swear I can hear you

For fuck’s sake

I can almost feel you

But you’re not here

You said you would be but you aren’t

And each time I think I’ve found you

It’s not you

Why can’t I find you?

Abandon

I’ve run through grass
Met the waters edge
The flame reflects in my eyes
I can’t move
My heart is racing
My breath, steady
My charred remains float on the water
You look at me in disbelief
What we’ve built
Has been leveled
My tears have been shed
They’ve already dried
They weren’t for you
I don’t know that they were for me
I step into the water
I shiver with anticipation
My voice quivers
Laments drifting to the west
You reach out
One last time
Grasping for me
But I’ve already gone
Left wading in the waters
Forever searching
For what I’ve lost

We’re left apart

Silenced in time

Yet echoes of the night

Consumption

I've found you again

I wasn't looking for you

In fact

I believe it was me who was lost

Tell me you love me again

Tell me you'll keep me warm

Tell me all of your lies

Lies that stitch themselves to my skin

Lies that whisper from an empty closet

Self induced lonliness

Selfless silence

Silenced

Close your eyes

Close mine

Closed closeness

I shelter with this feeling

I shelter in the nothing

The consumption of nothing

A never ending stream of nothing

I've found you again

The Forgiven Enemy

What a feeling it must be

To fall in love

To kiss upon the lips

Which lights the fire

In your chest

To glide on the surface

Of his skin

Which electrifies the spine

To entangle your fingers

In his hair

To look into his eyes

Which hollows out your soul

To learn the rhythm

Of every song

His heart sings

What joy it must bring

To walk down the road

His palm against yours

Your stride matching his

The wind along his face

Carries his very breath

To the nape of your neck

The tears you must shed

When his gaze meets yours

And he pulls you in

Then you embrace

And the world falls away

And you both float off

Not knowing where you're going

Not caring what's in the way

You've forgotten what time was

In love

Darkness is a forgiven enemy

He inhales

You exhale

The sweetest memories

That reach beyond this life

And farther than forever

What a feeling love must be