Journal Entry 1-4-2011

It’s interesting. People go by every year making New Year’s Resolutions that we don’t follow. We promise ourselves we are going to do everything in our power that this is the year that we will change. For the first few months, it works. Everyone goes about doing what we can to keep that promise. Maybe it is a diet, a desired career path, a new look with a new wardrobe, or maybe it was to fall in love. The truth about those resolutions, those promises, is they never work. The easiest person to lie to is ourselves, we are also the easiest person to let down. Too many times we break our own promises because in the end we knew we would be the person we were hurting. I hardly ever keep a promise to myself and still I get so saddened after time has gone by only to realise that I didn’t change they way I wanted, I didn’t do the things I was trying to set out to do. And it isn’t like I got lost or saw a better opportunity, I simply didn’t do anything to change, to keep that promise. Sometimes, though, when I’ve promised myself something and I’ve forgotten what it was, somehow it seems to find it’s way back to me only it jolts my life so harshly that not only did it change me but it changed everything around me. Sometimes it’s for the better and sometimes not but either way it doesn’t always seem to turn out for the better for the people I love. It seems like someone always gets hurt. I didn’t make a promise this year. I’ve set some goals with no dates on them. I didn’t say “This is the year for that change!” as I have said in the past. So many times I try to find an answer to some problem I’ve conjured up that I forget that the best thing to do is just live. Sometimes I forget that I am already the person I want to be and that I need to take my time to just live it out. And who knows, maybe the answer I was looking for was trying to find me all along, I was just to busy with my head to the ground to notice.

The Path

She passes the path again
She is comforted in what waits for her
But she is scared to go to it
It calls to her
She yearns for it
Yet something stops her

His heart is broken again
He can’t take it anymore
He’s back at the path
He turns away
But he looks back
He wants it
But is stopped once again

She’s knocked to the ground
She is bruised and bloody
She’s at the path again
It is so inviting
It’s kind and gentle
She needs it
She turns away
But she looks back
She cries for it
But is stopped once again

He is hanging
His last breath is near
He is battered
He is broken
He won’t last much longer
His tears burn as they run down his face
The path is there once more
It calls to save him
It reaches to help him
There is light on the path
He fights to escape the oncoming darkness
But again he turns away
He looks back
But is stopped once again

She feels a hand
The darkness has all but consumed her
She opens her eyes
She is no longer at the tree
She is no longer alone
She has been brought to the the path
There are no more bruises
No more tears
And she is not alone
She doesn’t turn away
But steps onto the path
The darkness calls to her
But she doesn’t look back
There is nothing in her way
There is nothing stopping her