Waiting

I stand alone in the night
I light up a cigarette
It’s a dark winter’s night
And yet I am not cold
I take a drag
I look up to the night sky
And listen to the sounds of the cars in the distance
It’s a calm winter’s night
I exhale a puff of smoke
And watch it disappear in the air
I wait for his arrival
I wonder if he will keep me warm
I wonder if he will caress my rough cheek
I wonder if I will fall asleep in his arms
I don’t know him
He doesn’t know me
Nothing but me in his arms
I wonder if he will hold me until I fall asleep
No sex
No kiss
No words
Just two people
In the calm of the night
Holding each other
Until the rising of the sun

Cry to the Night

My eyes sparkle in the sun
My laugh dances in the wind
My smile is infectious
My stride, confident
I'm on top of the world
Life is a dream
But then comes the nightmare
Then come the tears
I cry to the night
My world is upside down
The light of the moon
Uncovers the truth
I cry to the night
My thoughts swirl
My fears collide
My screams are silenced
There is no one here
No one to hold me
No one to save me
I cry to the night
A moment of stillness
Before I fall into the darkness
I see nothing
But there are screams in the distance
Screams of sorrow
Screams of pain
Screams from the world
That are silenced by sunrise
I cry to the night
I cry for someone
I cry or anyone
I cry for help
I cry for an existence
That will never come
By day, life is in the air
A life I love
I'm not sad
I'm not afraid
I'm not alone
Life is a dream
But the nightmare lingers
For the night is bound to come
I cry to the night

The Life We Live

It's been almost eight years
Yet
I come back here
And it's staring me down
I still smell
The food that was cooked on that stove
I still feel the carpet beneath my feet
Separating meds
Giving shots
And the smell of the air
While I take out the trash
The feel of the cold concrete
While I sit outside to think
How young was I
The burn of the tobacco
The feeling of the end
It's not easy
Eight years later
And I feel the familiar feeling
It's not a question if I've moved on
It's history repeating itself
It's loss all over again
We move on
But at what cost
Life
Is never ending

Gone

I woke that morning
To find you gone
I thought I had lost you before
But today I knew it was forever
I didn't cry
I didn't break down
But most importantly
I didn't die
I smelled the cold crisp air
Coming in the bedroom window
It was different today
It was better today
I let it fill my head
It gave me a high
One I had never known
The steps I take today
Are with my head held high
My coffee will be warmer
My walk will be straighter
And everywhere I go
Will be a new adventure
And though my days will be brighter
It comes at a price
One that I fight pay
Every time it come around
Though my day will go so well
It's the nights
The nights I will feel more deeply
My sweater becomes colder
My steps so much slower
And my tears
My tears are so much heavier
I delve
And I delve deep
For to see the sun shine
I must fight through the night
I will fight every night
To feel the warm sun
Once again
Shine upon me

Long Lost

I look and find nothing
But I look again
The same crazy notion
That runs through my head
Gets me looking
Over and over again
I never find it
It's never there
Yet I look
And feel nothing

To Lose

I heard it in the distance
A low rumble from afar
I felt the earth shake below me
Steadily getting stronger
In an instant a hundred miles had passed
And there it was at my door step
The power of a thousand horses beat my heart
A tidal wave of wind sent me backwards
The weight of the world pushed me down
In no time at all I was at me knees
The mountains crashed down
The sun became black
The world vanished before my eyes
I was left in a vast desert of nothing
Frozen in sorrow I almost died
So easily I found myself lost
But in the darkness there was a light
And in the distance
A single horse came my way
And I began to rise to me feet

Broken

How can I tell you not to hurt
How can I tell you not to care
You've been a hero for too many
For so long
Who knew you were so fragile
The strongest one I know
Is now at her knees
Asking why
What can I say
The whole world needs you
It's time for you to need us
The whole world loves you
It's time to love yourself
The hurt won't last forever
But your courage
Will echo through the years
Wipe your tears my warrior
Rise to see the sun shining once again

Mirror of Life

I've been lain here
Left to die
With no love
Or light
To call my own
My fingers dry
And cracked
Digging into the earth
Trying to rise again
My lips dry
And bleeding
Trying to breathe
Just one more breath
The sun
Pushing down my fragile body
It's suddenly blocked
A cold wet liquid
Pours on my body
Reaches my mouth
The waters overflow
I'd nearly forgotten how to swallow
I peel open my eyes
To see you over me
Your tears hit
My open palms
I ask why you're crying
You tell me you left me
You left me to die
As I look closer
I see your face even clearer
Only to realize
That you and I
Are one in the same

Nearly Lost

She looks at the sun
Coming through the shreds of leaves
He drinks in all
The Tree has to offer
But forgets
She abandoned it long ago
For when he looks down
He sees what is lost
She runs her hand
Along the cold, dry base
But his finger is cut
By a blackened thorn
Beauty and color
Once lived here
Now only gray covers it all
And Death grips his withered hands
The now weakened roots
She is blind
To the needs of the Tree
For all he must do
Is surround it with love
And a dying soul
Will flourish once more

Rainy Nights

As I listen to it fall
I feel my heart moving inside me
The cool wind it leaves across my face
It relaxes me
Nothing else
Just me and the soothing rain
With no light on but a dimmed street lamp
I lean back to let the water hit my face
I forget about the world
I let everything slip away
I let myself be
Underneath the night
And the cool, smooth rain

I'll live my life

When my faith in you dwindles
I'll live my life
When your words linger then fall
I'll live my life
When you no longer see in my direction
I'll live my life
When I'm empowered by the pain
I'll live my life
When your clouds that surround me blow away
I'll live my life
When it's no longer about you
I'll live my life
When trust falls through your hands
I'll live my life
And as you just stand in the crowd
I'll live my life

To See A World

Tall tales in a world of happiness
Tall tales in a world of sorrow
One can't see past the other
One can only see the lies
There's light in the darkness
Night shines through the day
When one world shifts to the other
The sun rises in the other direction
True tales in a world of happiness
True tales in a world of sorrow

Your Own Life

I live
I breathe
I eat
I sleep
I hurt
I bleed
I feel
I fall
Just like everyone else
I live my own life
Just like everyone else
I believe in what I choose to believe
Just like everyone else
I fall in love just like everyone else
I don't bother anyone
I don't hurt anyone
I don't get angry at anyone I don't know
Mainly cause I don't know them enough to care
Yet I find it amazing that I don't care
What you think or
How you choose to live your life
But you judge me and
Try to stop me living mine
So who's life are you really living
Mine
Or Yours

Our Curse

When should our wishing hearts
Wake from this eternal slumber
When should our eyes open
To see the world in rolling thunder
Save the knight and return today
For our souls are filled with hunger
Could it be that we're too blind
To see that time begins to unwind
We count the days until we find
Our hearts still beat
but our lives are here no longer

Lost Soldier

Lost Soldier
You've got nothing to fear
You're safe here in my arms
Tonight
I'll be your protector
I'll be your shelter
In the night
Lost Soldier
Be still now
Be ever so still
Hear your heart beat with mine
Let your love be mine
Lost Soldier
I'll be your longing comfort
I'll hold you in my arms
I'll hold you oh so tightly
I'll hold you oh so tightly
I'll hold you oh so tightly love
My Lost Soldier
Be still in my arms tonight