And you laugh the way you’ve laughed since you were just a child
I can’t understand how you can say you’re hurting at this moment
Or that you feel nothing inside about the memories we’re making now
That’s just it
You don’t understand
And maybe you never will
My numbness doesn’t change
Because you don’t understand
Problems don’t unravel themselves
Because it doesn’t make sense to you
Maybe I don’t need to understand but I want to help
It hurts to see you hurting because of the love I have for you
I want to make it better and I want to know how
Why can’t you just tell me what I need to do
That’s just it
I don’t know how
And maybe I never will
I can’t give you answers
I don’t know myself
Helping you help me isn’t something I can do
I’m sad when there isn’t something to be sad about
I’m hurting though I can’t say why out loud
I can’t know what I don’t know
I can’t fix what I can’t see is broken
But I know it’s broken all the same
You want answers
I want resolution
You the good times again
And I just want to look in the mirror
And know who is looking back at me
I keep watching the shell of me
An empty vessel of the former me
Living my life
Speaking my words
Walking the path
I suddenly was sidelined to
I walk alongside him
Hoping to join him again one day
Walking an unmarked path
An unpaved road
With no light
No guidance
Just an intuition
I no longer trust
I know I’ll be back one day
For now I cling to darkness
An absolute nothing
