Sweat & Blood

 I lie awake
Thinking of who I’m supposed to be
I play the music louder
To drown out the sounds
Of moving hands
You have provided comfort
But I need something else
Something more
You breathe me in
I bleed you out
As I lay dying
You give me a final kiss
And close the door
Quietly behind you
I close my eyes
Take my last breath
And wait for morning to come

Unseen Cell

Life lies in the dark

It makes you see things

But they’re not really there

Disembodied voices of trust

Float nearby

“It’ll be okay”

“I’m safe”

“Do what you want”

“Trust me”

“Fuck you”

“You’re nothing”

“You do nothing”

“You Are Nothing”

“I won’t hurt you

I love you”

Love lies in the dark

It fades away

Though you barely knew it was there

Bodies brush against you

Drops of sweat fall around you

They cover you

Then emptiness

Life shatters in the dark

Streams of light scattered around you

They shift

They fly

You chase

It’s gone

You’re lifted up

You’re free

The light disappears again

And you fall

You break

You cry

“Don’t cry”

“Stop crying”

“I promise”

“Follow me

Stay with me”

Life lies in the dark

You dangle the light above me

Life lies in the dark

You lie in the dark

You lie

For A Moment

The water pulsates over my body

As I stare at the white wall

My heart sleeping soundly in my chest

I snap out of my enchantment 

And continue gliding my hands over my body

To wash away my words for the day

My left hand wanders behind me

And there

I wash twice

For his words sometimes linger

I dip my head under the glistening stream

I let the heat race from my nose

Down to my navel

And then I think of you

The moments you stole from me

Right before

The moments I willingly gave to you

Remembering your head on my chest

Your breath on my nipples

Not in love

But neither without it

The echo of your lips

Still tingles the back of my neck

Suddenly your gone

I open my eyes

Still facing the white wall

The words circling the drain

And life pauses

Only for a moment

Until the sun rises again

Little

It’s like I wasn’t even there

When you tore me apart

I drifted so far away

I became so lost

The more you broke my heart

The smaller I became

The words you threw at me

The self worth you stripped away

Who would have even known

Bruises shouldn’t com from love

You wore me down until

I was just so little

I got older

But never really grew

Your presence slowly became

An echo of a memory

Abandoned

Disowned

You left me all alone

How much love

Do you really need

When you’re just so little

The darkness of the corner

Never felt so warm

Who needs a crying shoulder

When have got my own

Why even bother walking

When I can crawl just fine

No need to hold me in your arms

I’ve got two of mine

Could you even find me

Who could ever find me

In this world when I’m this little

Another day goes by

I’ve learned to love myself

Like the love you gave

It’s easy to get through this life

And never feel too big

When you’re just do little

I’ll always be so little

You’ll always be so fucking little